Desert Island Dicks part II
Back by popular demand
Hello, good sirs. How does it be? I have been busy. I’m not even lying, I actually have been.
So this week I will be serving you with the second half of my Desert Island Discs.
“Finally!!” says you.
Song of the week
Your periodic reminder to listen to some late 2000s Timbaland.
And back to Kirsty
Kirsty: And that was Taylor Swift with “Hey Stephen (Taylor’s Version)”.
You say that you are a slut for nostalgia, Lapise, and I would be inclined to believe you, with most of your choices having been released at least ten years ago. Not that unusual for Desert Island Discs, but surprising for one as young as yourself.
Me: Oh, Kirsty. You do flatter me. I tell you, I don’t always feel as young and fresh and beautiful as you so kindly suggested. But without too much messing around, I’ll introduce my next track, which happens to be a bit more recent. And - fittingly - it’s another contemporary country classic:
Kirsty: That was “I Wanna Be a Cowboy, Baby!” from CMAT, an artist who has really made a name for herself in the last year. Quite an impressive feat considering the state of the live music industry at the moment.
It’s been a tough year all-round really, would you say that CMAT’s music comforted you as it did so many others?
Me: Oh, yes, Kirsty. Without a doubt. I have found comfort in CMAT’s music. Her writing is always very ‘umorous, no matter how dark her subject matter may be. Although I can’t deny that the lyrics “My style icon is the Wolverine/between each finger lies the key/to getting home without a buckaroo” hit particularly hard this week.
Sometimes you’re singing along to a song, knowing all the words and not fully appreciating what they mean. They’re just words, after all. But sometimes you’re singing along to a song and knowing all the words, and suddenly they feel more real than you are. Does that make sense?
Kirsty: If it makes sense to you. You’re the writer after all. It’s your job to make the words make sense.
Laoise: You’ve got me there, Kirsty. I suppose sometimes the words aren’t enough.
But you won’t catch me admitting that often, or I’ll write myself out of a job.
Anyway, here’s a song that always makes a good effort to lift my spirits:
Kirsty: That was George Michael’s “Freedom! 90” which truly is a spirit-lifter, as cliched as that might sound.
Laoise: That it is, Kirsty. The spirits might have been a bit too lifted there though. Let’s temper them. Calm them down. Here’s a song that I wouldn’t necessarily say I love, but I can’t deny that it makes me feel something.
This one is for everyone who attended a teenage disco in the year 2010. The good, the bad and the U G L Y:
Kirsty: It’s not often that I have to do this, but I would like to apologise from the bottom of my heart to everyone listening to the radio programme who had to endure the entirety of that song. To those who are joining us via the Desert Island Discs podcast, count your blessings.
I’m quite relieved to be able to say that Lapise is now going to introduce her eighth and final choice.
Me: Ah sure it’s only a bit of fun, isn’t it Kirsty?
Kirsty: That it is, Lapise. That it is. Now introduce that last song.
Me: Alright, lads. Here we bloody go. I had a tough time deciding this one. Initially it was going to be “Number 1” by Tinchy Stryder and N-Dubz, but sure didn’t we all vote and agree that that was the song of 2021 just two weeks ago? So I’ll go with these fellas. They’re always a bit of a laugh, while maintaining a certain air of melancholy. I would almost say they are the antithesis of CMAT. Where she makes light of the dark, they make dark of the light.
Yeah, no, I am just waffling now. Take it away, lads:
Kirsty: That was the Beautiful South and “Song For Whoever”.
Now, Lapise. It’s time for you to tell us what your book and luxury item would be. Of course you get the Bible and the complete works of Shakespeare
Me: My book? Oh, Kirsty. It’s got to be Louise Rennison’s “Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging” special movie edition bumper book, featuring the first three installations of the series. I can’t believe you even had to ask.
Kirsty: I don’t know why I bothered either.
And your item?
Me: My luxury item? A guitar with strings that are impervious to snapping. I’m finally going to learn to play good.
Kirsty: Well, thank god there’ll be no one around to hear.
So, last but not least - if you had to save just one of your precious LPs, which would it be.
Me: If I had to save just one? It’s an incredibly tough call, but - seeing as “Number 1” isn’t a contender - I think it would have to be the Nina Simone.
Some TV and some movies and a book, actually
Licorice Pizza
*spoilers lie ahead*
PTA’s new flick. Probably my favourite of his that I’ve seen, but it was definitely dampened by some very poor Asian jokes (I truly cannot understand how they made it into the final cut) and a rather unfortunate ending. The idea of a fifteen year old having a crush on a twenty-five year old might be just about passable, in theory, but they definitely should not kiss, in practice. Alana Haim gets my vote all the same.
The Matrix Resurrections
*more spoilers here, soz*
As a recent convert to the trilogy, I am here for this. I really do only watch films for the romance, so revisiting your massively successful blockbuster franchise nearly 20 years later for the sake of love is something I absolutely stand behind. Yuuuup Lana Wachowski.
Euphoria
I honestly don’t even really know what to do with this, but for entertainment value I’m putting it in. And for the cast too. It is still strange, of course, that viewers are expected to pretend these people are teenagers. Plus, I’m not sure where I stand on Sam Levinson. Everything else aside, he just gives me a bad vibe.
The Sex Lives of College Girls
This one is a nice placeholder for the likes of Sex and the City and Girls. The Sex Lives of College Girls doesn’t always hit the mark, but when it does it is highly enjoyable.
(More on this next time).
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie by Muriel Sparks
So glad I learned to read again just so I could read this book! It was so funny and silly and sad. It is the story of one Miss Jean Brodie and her chosen set of girls. They start by worshipping her, find themselves pitying her and end up admiring her. My mother got it in anticipation of me going back to study teaching, and I will be going around telling every single student that I am in my prime, you know.
Just the two Tweets this week because I really haven’t been on that much.
To compensate, here’s my favourite horrible painting in the National Gal.
Happy New Year, if I can still invoke that platitude at this late stage. Luv you all x