Bonjour, mes amis. Comment ca va?
Moi? Je suis un lazy arse. I am, again, ill-prepared. But as they say: it is better to half-arse than not to arse at all!
Or is it “it is better to have arsed and lost, than never to have arsed at all”?
Either way-
Song of the week
Sehr gut.
Let’s get down to business (to defeat the huns)
What did the huns ever do to you? Posting their Instagram hauls and using their filters and harming no one. Leave them alone would ya.
Now, you’ve probably been floundering for the last two weeks; wondering what you should be doing this year. What’s cool, what isn’t. What might make your reputation, what might break it.
Not list 🥶
MIS (Men In Shorts)
Men wearing shorts when it is 2 degrees out. What are you trying to prove? That you are above the cold? That your leg hair is so thick and luscious it provides more warmth than any trouser?
The cinema
Nah, there’s just nothing good on this week. But if I have to see that Matt Demon cryptocurrency ad or the trailer for the J*red L*to Marvel movie one more time…
Having the Twitter app on your phone
I said that I would deactivate Twitter in January, and much like Lord Huron, Allison Ponthier and Nicki Minaj; I Lied. But it does take much more effort to log on to my laptop at 7am just to ruin my own day.
Overtaking me in the cycle lane
This isn’t a race!!
Not lists
Good ṽ̵̯͇̼̟̓ȋ̴͉̹̹̗b̸͉̳̏̿̓̈r̷̡̊a̴̞͇̾̂̔̚t̷͎̟͐͝i̴͚̦̼̓̾o̵͚͌̍͆̑n̵̨̗̠̅͘s̴̱͛ only this year.
Hot List 🔥
Mini Eggs
The world rejoices! Mini Eggs are in season again. The wee chocolate chickens that lay those gorgeous pastel-coloured eggs are out of hibernation and they are producing.
Stepping back and letting Fate do its work
As a good friend of mine once said: “what’s for you won’t pass you by”. Even if you’re sitting on your arse binge-watching Community, I think.
Live Music
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Linton Earnshaw
Masks
I am in absolute favour of keeping them, not least because I do not want another job asking me to remove my nose ring.
Saying “this is the last time I’m going to get my nails done” and meaning it
Don’t even whisper the words “Steven An” in my vicinity.
Yellowjackets
This show, from Jennifer’s Body director Karyn Kusama, has been solely responsible for me grinding my teeth in my sleep this past week.
Skinny jeans
Making a comeback this year.1
Salt lamps
Every time I see one I wish I could be sucked inside like a genie, and cradled in the gentle orange glow.
Tweet(s)
I continue to mine the pits of hell for you. My arms are scorched and my eyebrows are singed, but I continue.
This has nothing to do with the two good pairs of black Topshop Jamie jeans with a few wears left in them that I own.